Fear

I am scared to death right now of a lot of things. That I won't find a job, that I can't really afford to live in Chicago, that my dog will never adjust to living in a big city, and that I will always be alone. Fear can really be a great demoralizer and immobilizer. The worst of this came to a head yesterday night, and left me in tears while on the phone.

To conquer this ... means to face and understand. I have been using Dusty's slow adjustment to this move as a "sign" that I am hurting him, and that has caused me stress. And as a result.. he ISNT adjusting because he's picking up on my stress.

Today has been a much more productive day, despite being difficult. I left him alone for the first significant period of time - 3 hrs, while I attended a job interview. He survived. I survived. He is eating when I put him in the car and bring food with me, so I think its been the extreme heat this weekend that is killing everyone's appetite, including mine.

I have motivation again to have a plan and a goal - no more days of just listlessly staring around the empty space and feeling so incredibly lonely. The day goes by faster with things to do and limited wallowing time.