Running on Empty

My life needs more than 12 hour days followed by an hour, then sleep, and another 12 hour day. Rinse. wash. Repeat.

I want nothing more right now than a friend to be a friend and just give me a hug or a phone call or something so that I feel like all this work I'm doing is actually noticed and appreciated. Without me being the one to put in all the work to stay in contact with people, they drop like flies.

So I guess its been good to learn who my real friends are.

8 Days a week

Wouldn't I love to have an extra day in the week! Since about the middle of March, my life has been more or less consumed with putting in a lot of long hours and brainpower at work. But, the dividends of this labor is more than just overtime. There have been a lot of new developments in the last 2 weeks, and I am at the cusp of some very exciting news. Change is A Comin!

Words can't express

When you look into the eyes of another person and can see in them the fire for life and passion, I feel like I'm home. These people are few and far between in my life, but I'm not taking any moment with them for granted.

Slowly but surely... I don't feel like I'm so alone anymore. I am responsible for my own happiness, but there is something about knowing you leave a positive mark on someone else's life... no matter how small. That is my reason for living.... and my happiness is independent of whether the feelings are returned. When I found out that this is what real, true, gritty love is, it brought me to my knees. I had to re-evaluate my world and everything I believed in, to understand how to accept this idea and truly live it.

This entry may not make much sense to the head... but it makes perfect sense to my heart. I need more of these moments. The stresses and small irritations of life fall away... and every leaf on the ground becomes captivating.

Making the Best of It

I've already written in the past about the situation with my grandmother, and this weekend was bittersweet. I did the whirlwind weekend roadtrip to spend Easter Sunday with her and my MN family, as well as my mom who flew out for the weekend. I haven't seen her since Thanksgiving, and there have been some definite physical differences. Her hair fell out from chemo, she's been losing about 5 lbs a month since she started chemo in January, on top of the weight she lost when she first starting feeling ill last summer.

But more than physical deterioration ... she's tired. Her spirit is tired, her eyes are tired. They don't light up when the latest round of neighborhood gossip gets tossed around the table. I don't worry about her overdoing it too much because she seems to know her physical limits better now. The flip side of that is what it actually takes to get her to slow down. Pain that is beyond disguise and ignoring.

I'm hoping this isn't the last time I'll have a chance to see her before I can take some vacation in June. I made a big point to reinforce my favorite memories of her by baking this weekend while I was there. It was easier to take out the "sick" gramma and replace it with the one I know and love. She was inspecting the cookies, always showing me how to do it better, and dipping in her pinky finger to make sure frostings and batter were spot on. I'm gonna miss her.

Yummy Coffee Cake

I played Kung Fu Ninja with my oven last night. I've finally gotten in leveled, and managed to bake a presentable (but still not 100% perfect) coffee cake that I brought to work today.

I love it when people complain that it was all gone before they had a chance to go back for seconds. And every email/person stopping by said it was very Yummy. Its like magic - the official recipe name is Yummy Coffee Cake.

I Rock. Now I just need to actually get my oven fixed instead of finding working arounds. In this case I had it on low until the fire alarm went off, and then I shut the oven off and let it keep cooking with the heat that had built up inside the oven.

And Dave is coming to town tomorrow. I'm Excited!

Let there be sound!

I have the new aid.

My mono headphone showed up yesterday too.

I am in audio heaven!

Just gotta wait out the adjusting brain migraine for the week and then I should be all set.


I'm drinking some tea and getting into my work groove, and I have fallen in love with plain white tea all over again. Why do people insist on ruining good tea by making it part of so many fruity combos?

Exploring the City

My adventure yesterday took me to the streets of Lincoln Park and past DePaul University.

It really is so interesting to feel the different flavors of the neighborhoods. I spent yesterday walking on North, Clyborne, Ashland, and Fullerton. I covered about 3 miles on foot, and was slightly surprised that my mental picture of Lincoln park was slightly different than reality. Maybe I picked bad roads (read: major car thoroughfares) but I had envisioned Lincoln park to be a grittier version of lakeview, which I have spent more time in. In a way I was right, but at the same time it didn't feel as "close" as some of the other neighborhoods, especially Lakeview. It did have many local daily trip places in nearby walking, but I think I need another trip and a venture starting from a more neighborhood centric point.

It was a great view of downtown waiting at the Fullerton stop. I didn't have my camera with me, but I am planning to carry that more frequently just to be able to snap things as I see them, instead of trying to plan a dog walk in that area so I remember to take my camera and go back again.

Dusty loves his new exotic treats, and was more than happily entertained for at least an hour, munching away in the corner. Spoiled little furball!

Dusty the Exotic Eater

Having a dog who loves to chew chew chew, I've been at a loss for rawhide/chewing options now that his food allergy has thrown out all conventional forms (beef, chicken, turkey, lamb).

Thanks to my very awesome and hawt vet Dr. Ball, I've been referred to UrbAnimal, a whole/natural pet food store at the edge of Edgewater and Rogers Park. They have such delicacies as Kangaroo leg bones, and Buffalo and Salmon treats. Dusty's got it good.