Alone

I haven't quite figured this out, but it occurred to me today that I was more comfortable being completely alone in a foreign country and foreign city, than I have felt in this town. In both cases, I was leaving the same place... but I think its the finality of this last leave that is what is hurting the most. I talk about Louisville being a necessary place for me to be to bring about the awareness of what is and is not going to make me happy. I am trying to remember if I felt this disoriented when I moved to New York 3 years ago. Granted, at that time I had nearly $4,000 in the bank and could afford not to stress about finding a job within the first 30 days of being here. Rent was less, lease was month to month... every step in the last years has been building up to a firm lease agreement, higher rent costs.

My other biggest worry is my dog. He is my family right now, and he is having a little bit of a rough time. Both times that he's eaten since we arrived in Chicago over 48 hours ago have been about 12pm each day, with a little bit of the food I had brought with me in the car hoping he would eat. He seems excited enough about going out on walks to do his thing, but he is having a little bit of sensory overload with the amount of dogs around. I was invited to bring him to a bbq, and that was a disaster. Lesson learned, and I owe a very very big thanks to the dudes who spent an hour getting my truck unlocked after I locked my keys and cellphone at said bbq. It was not my day.

I didn't intend to do so much writing when I created the blog today, but I think this has been very helpful in keeping a good balance.