Starting to Care

Depression is your worst enemy, because it knows you so well its easy to believe nothing's wrong. And it usually builds up so slowly, you don't realize its had you in its grips until you don't always care whether or not you need to fight free.

For me, my physical appearance was one of the most affected. About a month ago, I started to wear makeup again on a daily basis, for myself. It was amazing the amount of compliments I got on really minimal application. Then slowly I got more creative with my wardrobe, spending a few extra seconds to maybe change out my necklace for a different one, or wear a specific pair of shoes.

A week ago, I made a conscious effort to at least pretend to enjoy clothes shopping, and put together an outfit that was springlike. I took the risk buying pink shoes as another step towards trying to break out of the "why change I'm comfortable" funk. I've been getting compliments on my outfits for the first time in a long time. While its not the ultimate reason I'm doing it, its reaffirming that taking care of yourself also means giving support to all parts of you.

I'm still working on the weight loss end, but trying to do it as realistically as possible. Selling the car was more than a financial decision, it was a lifestyle change. Slowly but surely...